


Questions and Perfect Answers

by PhanNotebook



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 01:35:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11325939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhanNotebook/pseuds/PhanNotebook
Summary: Questions and Perfect Answers





	Questions and Perfect Answers

**Author's Note:**

> This was written about a month ago, and in my mind is set around the time of Dan's rebranding.  
> I also just want to flag that there is a very brief suicide reference - referring to Dan & Phil helping people out of it.  
> Hope you enjoy! :)

Dan sat on the edge of the couch in their new living room, trying to sort through some of his racing thoughts. He was home alone, so he’d put on music in the background, in attempt to help anchor him from plunging into another crisis. Of course, the music couldn’t always save him from a crisis; whenever he thought about what he was doing with his life, it was hard not to be summoned into a void of unanswerable questions. So many questions raced through his mind: what did he want his content to be? He wanted it to reflect who he was now… but who was he now? Wait…who did he used to be? Why did people subscribe to him in the first place? Would they stay subscribed if he changed his content? But what even was his content currently? He placed his head in his knees, focused on his breathing, and tried to slow his heart rate.  He would figure this all out eventually…right?

“Dan?” he heard Phil’s voice from the front door and a smile rose to his lips. “Dan?” Phil called out again, but Dan remained silent, trying to calm himself down before Phil found him.

“Dan? DAN?” Dan chuckled to himself as he heard Phil open what sounded like every door in their apartment. Phil always did this; shouting out for Dan from the second he got home, frantically checking every room until he found him. Sure, Dan could let Phil know where he was, but hearing Phil call his name was one of Dan’s favourite sounds in the world. Phil’s footsteps came closer, and his voice louder. Knowing Phil would find him any moment, Dan sat up straight. He hated Phil seeing him this down.

“Oh, there you are, Bear,” Phil laughed, spotting Dan on the couch as he entered the room. He sat down beside him, leaning into his arm.

“You’ll never believe what just happened,” Phil said, not pausing for Dan’s reaction. “Our lift said ‘E’”

“What?” Dan said, laughing. Phil had a habit of skipping ahead to the most important part of any story.

“The lift in this apartment building!” Phil said, turning to look at Dan. “It went 1,2,3,E,4.”

“Are you sure?” Dan asked, having never experienced it himself.

“Yes! What does E mean?” Phil asked.

“Error?” Dan suggested.  

“Well, I got up here fine,” Phil shrugged.

“Emergency,” Dan said.

“Well, I hope not,” Phil mumbled.

“Exterminate,” Dan teased.

“What!” Phil gasped, then started pouting. “I think I’ll take the stairs from now on…”

“I’m joking.” Dan laughed, reaching out for Phil’s hand. “Maybe the lift just took a special route today.”

“Stop it,” Phil laughed. “Sometime you’ll be in the lift and it will happen!”

Dan laughed, but didn’t make any further remarks. Normally, Dan would continue making fun of him, (simply because Phil was so cute when he got flustered) but today Dan couldn’t find the energy.

“Bear, are you ok,” Phil asked, tilting his head to the side.

“What?” Dan said, sitting up even straighter. How had Phil known?

“You seem down.” Phil said, frowning.

“I’m fine, why would you think that?” Dan said, avoiding Phil’s eye contact.

“Well, normally you would make fun of me for at least another minute…and when I came in you were just sitting here…with your ‘thinking’ playlist on,” he said using air quotes.

“How do you know this is my thinking playlist?” Dan asked, as he couldn’t remember ever playing it when Phil was in the room (because when he was around, Phil was the anchor to stop him from falling into a crisis.) 

“Dan, I know you,” Phil smiled, squeezing his hand. For a few moments neither of them said anything, just letting the music fill the air.

“So, do you want to talk about it?” Phil asked, sitting up to match Dan’s posture.  

“It’s okay,” Dan sighed. Phil had seemed in such a good mood…he felt so bad to take away any of Phil’s happiness with his own worries.

“Dan, I want to know,” Phil said.

“Okay,’ he began, knowing Phil would keep asking until he told him. “I was just thinking about my channel, that’s all” Dan sighed, gazing away from Phil and the sad frown he had just formed.

“I know, I’m sure you’ve been thinking about it a lot lately,’ he said softly.

“I want my content to be different, from what it has been,” Dan signed, looking down at Phil’s pale hand on top of his, “but I don’t know what I want it to be.”

“You don’t have to have it all figured out now,” Phil said, “your content can evolve over time, and it will, like it always has.”

“But what if I want to do something really different,” Dan said using his free hand to trace over the freckles on the back of Phil’s hand.

“Whatever you do will be amazing, Bear.”

“But what if everyone hates it? What do we do if I lose all my subscribers?” Dan said, and stopped tracing Phil’s freckles, instead gaining the courage to look at his beautiful eyes.

“You won’t” Phil laughed.

“But Phil, I might!” Dan said, pulling his hand away from Phil.

“Bear listen to me:” Phil said, grabbing both of Dan’s hands, and holding them tightly.

“First of all, you have to remember to make content you want to make, not what you _think_ people want you to make.”

“I know but-” Dan started talking, but Phil ignored him.

“Secondly, it doesn’t matter if you lose all you subscribers, which by the way, you won’t. This is about you, not them. If they don’t like you for changing your style, they’re not the kind of people you want subscribed to you anyway, right?”

“I guess…”

“And don’t tell me you’re worried about the money, because we have that under control.”

“But Phil, you’ve read all the letters people gave us at tatinof, you’ve heard people tell us we are the reason they are still alive…what if they don’t like what I do next! What if I ruin the only thing that makes them happy…” Dan began to cry. Dan’s whole body was shaking. His throat felt frozen stuck. He couldn’t believe he had just admitted that to Phil. He couldn’t believe he said that…that he even thought it. Dan knew that the last thing those subscribers would ever want, was him being sad. He knew they wanted him to be happy. But, he wanted them to be happy too.

“I don’t want to let anyone down.” He hadn’t dared admit his fear to himself, but with Phil here beside him, it just all came rushing out.

“Oh my god, Bear!” Phil’s grip on Dan’s hands loosened. He pulled his right hand away, then cupped it around Dan’s face. “It’s ok, Bear, look at me.”  

Through the tears, Dan sheepishly gazed up at Phil. It broke his heart to see that Phil had tears in his eyes too.

“I promise you could never let anyone down…” Phil said, softly stroking Dan’s cheek. “Dan, all the people who tell us those things, they love you so much. And they love you for you; they don’t care what kind of content you make, they’ll love anything if you make it. If anything, if you are happier with a different style of content, then they will be happier too.”

A smile formed on Dan’s lips, and now he couldn’t speak for a different reason. More tears leaked from his eyes, but this time they weren’t tears of sadness. How did Phil always have the perfect thing to say?

“Hey,” Phil saw Dan’s tears and wiped them away. “It’s all going to be ok, I promise.”

“I know,” Dan whispered, leaning into Phil, and staring into his beautiful eyes. How had he gotten so lucky?

“What?” Phil said, red rising to his cheeks, and averting his gaze.

“I love you Phil,” he whispered, before he pressed his lips against Phil’s. Phil kissed him back, and all of Dan’s worries faded. All he could think was _Phil, Phil, Phil._

“I love you too,” Phil said between kisses. He grabbed Dan’s hands, entwining his fingers in his own. No matter how many times Phil did that it always felt like magic, like euphoric energy was being sent through Dan’s entire body.    

“Thankyou,” Dan said, pulling away from Phil slightly. “You always have the perfect thing to say.”

“Of course, Dan,” Phil laughed. “Now my payment.”

“What?” Dan raised his eyebrows, confused.

“Just keep kissing me, bear,” he laughed as he moved in, closing the distance between them.

“As long as you want,” Dan smiled, and placed his lips to Phil’s again.


End file.
